Banana Bread & Something That Will Make You Say, "Awwww"

I have always liked quick breads.  Really they are more like cakes in loaf form but I can tell myself it is only bread I am eating and what's not to like about that?  I still have fond memories of the banana bread served at my dorm cafeteria in college.  Really tasty and being that it wasn't the cafeteria's usual compilation of mystery meats, one of the few safe items available to eat. 

Yesterday, Ethan was home sick from school so I spent the day at home not running errands (okay, we did make one trip to Whole Foods for ragu ingredients and milk).  It is amazing how much I can get done when forced to stay at home.  Between my 5,000 (not even exaggerating) potty training trips outside with Tucker, I got lots of cleaning done, had time to try a new ragu sauce which takes many hours on the stove, and finally turned our browning bananas into some banana bread. 

This is my favorite banana bread recipe from Bon Appetit.  It takes banana bread up a notch with cinnamon, honey and a streusel topping and if you like banana bread I suggest giving it a try.   

Now for the "awwww" factor.  Last weekend, in a midday lull, the kids were playing and Kevin and I were lounging.  I was playing Sudoku on Kevin's phone while Kevin was watching t.v.  After a bit, I look up and see this,

the pupster and Kevin napping together.  So adorable, both of them!

Tough Questions At An Early Hour And A Young Age

This parenting stuff is sometimes hard.  Anyone who says otherwise is either in major denial or is on mind-altering medication.  This morning as the boys and I were going through our morning routine, I couldn't help noticing that my oldest seemed a bit off.  He was going all food diva on me claiming his waffles weren't cooked right and were thereby rendered inedible.  His pants felt funny and couldn't be worn.  He didn't want to buy lunch at school but all the options I was giving him to take weren't good either. 

By the time we got to the lunch issues, it finally dawned on me that something was up so, I said to him, "are you alright?"

He burst into tears and told me he was sad about a classmate whose mother is dying from cancer.  (He was made aware of this a few weeks ago when the social worker talked to the class about it.) 

Crying, Drew said to me, "Natalie is not going to have a mother anymore."  I told him that she will always have a mother even if her mother can't be here anymore.  I explained to him that it is very rare for a person to get cancer so young and that most mothers don't die young.  I gave him a big hug and was feeling good that I was able to get him talking about what was bothering him. 

Then, he says to me, "why do people have to die?"

I go immediately from feeling like I have a handle on the situation to feeling something like this:

from here

I am stumped wondering how I help him make sense of people dying early.  I know that he is looking for a reason for a mother to die, something that makes what is happening for his classmate logical.  I get that he is looking to know that the universe somehow makes sense and is not unfair because the flip side of that is terrifying. 

I am coming up empty.  Even after having 23 years to ponder that exact question with regard to my sister's death, the only thing I can make sense of is that this kind of thing just doesn't make sense.  All those platitudes about it being someone's time or God having a special plan for them don't provide any answers or explanation.  Not when you are the loved one left behind. 

So, I give him the best that I have got, the truth. 

"I don't know."     

  

Rachel Zoe, I Am Not

My little sister Tiffany is getting married on the very last day in May.  Her wedding is going to be a small, casual affair outside at Sundance Resort in Utah.  Absolutely one of my favorite places. 

Once she set a date for her wedding, I went on the hunt for a dress.  Nothing too fancy, since it is a casual wedding, something outside appropriate and summery.  I don't know what dress shopping is like for other women but at 6 feet tall, finding a dress that has a hemline that isn't obscene or a built in waist that doesn't hit somewhere in the middle of my chest area, is a challenge.  After trying on lots of duds, finally a few weeks ago on a shopping trip with my mother, I found it. 

**On a side note here, I highly recommend shopping with a buddy because let's face it, if you are going to try on some seriously hideous dresses it is much more fun to have someone along to laugh at them with.  At one point in our trip, we were at a department store, sharing a dressing room.  I had put the top half of my dress on but had left my pants on waiting to see if the top worked before I totally got undressed, my mother had gotten into a real "don't" of a dress but then with her arthritic shoulder was having trouble getting out.  So I said, "Let me get my pants off and then I will get you out of that dress". 

I paused for a moment and then mumbled, "Definitely a sentence I have never uttered before" and then we both burst out laughing and couldn't stop for quite some time.  (Dress shopping does make one slightly lose their grip on reality). **

Okay, back to the story, so I ended up getting this little number from JCrew,

 

Now, I need to accessorize, a word that kind of makes me cringe.  I like fashion and as a teenager used to pore over every issue of Vogue.  I read my InStyle regularly.  I know that Thakoon is not a fancy name for a typhoon, or that Blumarine is not the name of an aquarium.  I know what I like and don't like but where I struggle is putting things together.  I can pick the fundamentals but figuring out what to put with those things gets me stuck.  I totally need a stylist. 

 

In a total admission of defeat, I wear the same accessories every day. 

One stainless steel watch, one platinum wedding band, a silver necklace my husband bought me, a silver bangle and silver earrings.  Every now and then, when I am feeling wild and crazy, I will change the earrings or put on a different necklace or bracelet. 

 

Not helping things is the fact that I live in Colorado.  A place where people buy a lot of their clothes at the REI and aren't really known for pushing the fashion envelope.  Definitely not a place to provide any inspiration. 

 

So now, what to do with the dress?  I can pretty much guarantee, I will spend the next month trying to figure out what kind of statement necklace to get or which type of shoes would be cool but if I were a betting girl, I would say the Vegas odds are in favor of the combination above. 

 

By the way, if anyone has any suggestions, I am totally desperate open.

No Need For A Sleep Aid Here

We have been in full puppy mode since Tuesday afternoon when we welcomed 13 week old Tucker to our house.  He seems to have a great little personality and is really interested in what we, the humans, are doing which will make training just a little bit easier. 

He and Ella have been getting along better and better each day.  At first, I think she was a little unsure who this newcomer was and what to do with him but they have been wrestling a lot and playing in the yard and lately on our hourly trips outside, he is following her around instead of me.

Between the playing, the hourly bathroom trips outside, the daily walk down the street to get used to the leash, the getting to know all the sounds around the house, and the frequency of no's being thrown his way, by the end of the day, the poor guy is wiped out.

He isn't the only one.  Ella is all tuckered (maybe I should say Tuckered) out by days end.  Whipping a newbie into shape is tough work.  As for me, well by about 8 p.m. I pretty much feel how Ella looks here.  Let's just say I am sleeping like a baby with all this running around after the little guy.

A Wiggly Four Legged Distraction

Last Wednesday night I totally mucked up my back.  As is typical, I have no real clue what I did except for I had been feeling really great the past month and I am pretty darn sure that there was some overdoing it involved.  Since Wednesday night, I have been dealing with the pain and stiffness and trying to heal from whatever ridiculous thing happened.  I have also been feeling pissed and sad and frustrated but yesterday the most amazing distraction arrived. 

No, it can't cure my back problems. 

No, I didn't buy it off a late night infomercial. 

No, it is not just a boatload of Vicodin, a Diet Coke and a pile of dark chocolate (even though I have to say that all sounds pretty good right at the moment).

It IS a 12 pound, four-legged bundle of energy.

Meet our newest family member. 

Kevin and I were up in Beaver Creek for a long weekend and when we got home Monday afternoon, there was a call from Vizsla Rescue saying that had gotten in a male puppy.  He was taken by the state of Kansas from a hoarder.  Kevin and I drove an hour and a half north of our home yesterday afternoon to pick him up from his foster mom.  He is super sweet and his puppy dorkiness has been making us laugh pretty regularly since bringing him home.  The kids are totally over the moon about him and last night we all picked a name we liked, put the names in a hat, and drew one out.  Ethan's choice of Tucker won the draw.  Ella seems to like him alright so far and has already gotten him chasing her around the yard and wrestling in the house.  I have a feeling her lessons in counter-surfing and forbidden furniture sitting are next. 

My Furry, Wet-Nosed Co-Pilot

Some people have God as their co-pilot, I have a 3 year old Vizsla. 

Since Polka Dot died a few months ago, Ella seems to not like being left home alone so I take her in the car quite a bit more.  The fur and the window goobs don't do much for the look of my interior but she loves it and is excellent in the car.  She sits in the passenger seat almost like a person and let's face it, window goobs aside, I do enjoy being treated like a hero when I return from inside Target. 

Oftentimes, I take her to drop the kids at school or to pick them up.  When I drop them off, she always cries when they walk away and when I pick them up, she watches for them so carefully and cries in anticipation of seeing her two boys.  Once she saw a boy far off about Ethan's size also with brown hair and glasses and she got really excited, tail wagging, body wiggling, and then was so disappointed when she realized it wasn't him.

Here she is waiting today:

And then, she finally spots Ethan.......

The kids love when I bring her because as happy as I am to see them at the end of the day, my enthusiasm can't match a wiggling, wagging, licking ball of fur. 

A Missing Sock Connundrum and A Firing

Every weekend I do all our laundry and at the end of it all, I always end up with this,...............

.....a pile of socks whose match has somehow managed to vanish into thin air in the space of a week.  This week, you will notice that there are a staggering 7 pairs with no match, 2 of which are Ethan's beloved toe socks that Grandma and Grandpa brought him from Japan.  Seven pairs with no match for two boys who together wear 14 pairs a week.  So if I remember my statistics from college, that means that half of the time one or both absent minded boys put one sock in the laundry basket and the other God knows where. 

So, I look under beds, under couches, outside (if you knew my oldest that would make perfect sense) and any other spot I can possible conceive of a sock being.  I may find one or two but never all of them.  Where they all go is a complete mystery.  Probably out there somewhere with Jimmy Hoffa and D.B. Cooper. 

from here

But, none of that is really my concern anymore because Tuesday night at dinner, Drew told me that I was fired from being his mother.  I think that was an attempt by him to make me feel bad but all I was thinking was, Sweet!  No more washing everyone's clothes, no more cooking things people complain about, no more cleaning up toys to turn around and clean them up again and again and again, no more suffering through homework, no more getting chewed out for cutting a tortilla wrong (because really, who am I to cut first without asking, right?  The audacity), no more having to watch Dirty Jobs, no more of any of that.  Doesn't sound too bad. 

Of course, within the hour he had me back on the job heating him up a piece of pound cake and examining the minuscule scratch on his finger to determine if he is going to live or not. 

A Pincushion Update

from here



On Tuesday last week, I tried acupuncture for the first time.  After having needles placed in my hand and back, it relieved some pain but made me horribly sore everywhere on Wednesday. 

On Friday, I went back for my second appointment.  The acupuncturist wanted to needle me, as he calls it, in my back again but I was nervous about that after Wednesday's soreness.  He said he could achieve the same effect needling only my hand and a spot between my nose and upper lip.  He said the spot in the face is a very powerful spot for back pain.  Despite being nervous about having a needle in my face, I thought that seemed better than having it near my nervy disc.  I agreed but told him that if I felt that needle on my teeth at ALL, he could expect see a grown woman running around the room yelling, "get it out! get it out!" over and over again. 

Duly warned, he went to work.  Before placing the needles, he felt around on my back asking about which areas hurt when touched.  Then he placed needles in my hand and the one in my face. 

While I sat there, he asked me about what my diet is like.  I described what types of foods I eat and then he pinched my upper arm and my waist and said, "your fat layer is not good".  He went on to say I need to eat more sweets and greasy foods to increase my fat layer.  That made me laugh especially since I got the sweets category covered and the term "fat layer" made me feel like I should be barking for fish and balancing a ball on my nose. 

After having the needles in about 15 minutes he felt around on my back again.  Before the needles, I had about 10 different areas near my spine where there was pain when touched after the needles being in, there were only 2 where I felt any pain.  So bizarre. 

After my appointment, I felt great and continued to feel great the rest of the day.  I felt normal and it was an amazing feeling to be free of any pain or discomfort. 

Sadly, by Saturday afternoon, pain and discomfort returned and I spent the weekend in a bit of a funk feeling like there is no hope for me escaping the pain that is my life in this body.  Kevin reminded me that my discomfort and pain returning does not mean it will always be there and I think I will certainly give the acupuncture a few more tries and see if that amazing freedom I felt Friday can be something that lasts longer.

A Friday Mashup

When the kids were in Utah last week with Grandpa, he took them to an area climbing wall.  Ethan loves to climb and whenever we go hiking we all have to wait on the trail while he scales practically every boulder we pass.  I wonder at times if he is part mountain goat but I have seen his stinky feet plenty of times and there is no evidence whatsoever of cloven hooves. 

Here is Drew scaling the wall.  He is a more nervous climber as you can tell by his patented "I am freaking out" look on his face.  Despite the nerves, he still went ahead and conquered the wall.

 And, here is the mountain goat going to the tip top of the tallest part of the climbing wall, naturally. 

On Wednesday of this week, we ventured down to Colorado Springs to the Cave of the Winds.  We have lived in Colorado for almost 10 years and I have literally only been to the Springs once so we decided it is time to do some exploring down there.  The cave was pretty interesting but a totally different experience then our visit to Fulford Cave a few years ago. 

Drew and Ethan in the cave.  After being warned by the tour guide that touching any part of the cave will get you a $2,500 fine, notice how Drew is keeping his hands safely in his pockets.

 Here is Ethan posing by a column inside the cave, again trying really hard not to touch anything. 

Both guys trying on the miners helmets in the cave gift shop.  While we were in the Springs, we also stopped by the visitor's center at the Air Force Academy which Drew loved as he is into all things military these days.

Today is our last day of spring break (does it make me a bad mother if I do a little cheer?).  I am off in about an hour to work on my human pincushion impersonation again.  After my visit to the acupuncturist Tuesday, I was really achy everywhere on Wednesday and I am hoping to not get that again today.  But the bony spot doesn't hurt anymore.

Also today, my parents dropped off their lab, Lola to stay again while they are off to San Diego.  We will also be dog sitting for 3 weeks in May while my parents trot off to Africa.  Later today I am going to help Lola complete her emancipated minor paperwork because clearly, if they leave her so much, she needs a more stable home environment.